what type of feeling is this?

I know my dad is sick now. and his daughter now try best to finish up everything that look like never stop.shit!
I hope everything ok..oh yeahh, actually I feels bad on my relationship with my boy-friends.why? becoz I feels alone right now.I hate one way communication..padan muke aku.ssape soh cr dorg. cuba dok diam2.kdg mulut aku pn jahat..actually I miss him..;(
We promises to study together this week...no,he is silent,so me also..I hate this situation.
Making my heart cry and cry. I wish one of my frenz can understand me..pilu beb hati ni pendam rs.
bila aku nk senyum lg??